Why a Police Wife Should Visit the Station Regularly | Police Officer Wife Must-Dos
To my police husband, Rick, going the station is just like any other day. As a police wife and his police children, we learn and are wide-eyed at the tiny things our officer doesn’t even notice anymore. Rick has been a police officer for 17 years. Sometimes, when I have complained about the oddity of his 4-week “deployment period” shift work schedule, he says, “Is it weird? It’s all I’ve known.” Most of his friends are also police officers, so he’s right. This lifestyle is all he knows. I say this to say that the uniqueness of his job becomes the norm to our police husbands, but because we don’t life the day-to-day job like they do, it isn’t normal to us. Also, if you have an introverted, non-talker-type spouse like I do, he doesn’t tell you about the details of his day, so it’s hard for you to picture and empathize with his situation. Feeling disconnected can be a result of this. Check out my police wife course is you are feeling resentful, frustrated, overwhelmed, or lonely in this life.
Empathy, placing yourself in your officer’s boots is reason #1 that a police wife should visit the police station regularly. I share more about this in my heelsandholster: a police wife devotional, and I know you will learn a ton of empathy from reading my police husband’s memoir, Why is Everything Wet?
Don’t miss my first kid’s book for police kids Boots by the Door and Donuts at the Station.
Why a Police Wife should visit the Police Station?
Rick’s ability to separate work from home is good…but, that means it's easy for me to forget about the long drive.
I forget about his uniform and just how real is makes everything when I see him in it.
Rick doesn’t wear his uniform home. He puts it in his trunk, takes it to a dry cleaners, and I never usually see it. I sneaked a peak of his new uniforms recently at home, because he had his stripes added to them for a recent promotion. Rick doesn’t drive a patrol car home either. He doesn’t talk much about work at all. He also works 45 min - 1.5 hour away from home depending on traffic and where he’s assigned.
Seeing Rick at work makes me proud as a police wife and appreciate just how hard he works. I see the time sacrifices he makes since he’s not home as much as we’d want him to be.
The sacrifice of his own safety gets real when I see him in uniform even though I love it too.
I also love having the photos of my family together over the years with Rick in uniform. We sacrifice things together as a family. We are strong and face challenges unique to this life together. Once this sunk in for me, I was a better and happier wife.
You find yourself frustrated with your officer's unpredictable hours, feeling like he's "married to the job," and juggling life and parenting alone. After Sustainable Police Wife, you will wake up each day looking forward to your day, even if your spouse isn’t home, working nights, and tons of overtime. The solo parenting days go by so fast, because you’re out having crazy, fun adventures with your children. You will feel supported by a tribe who "gets you" and connected to your officer.
Police Officer Wife Must Dos
Besides visiting your officer at the station, each police officer wife should spend time doing other things that their officer does regularly. I think this should be mutual, so your officer should also be trying, once in a while, to spend time in your elements with you.
Visiting the academy.
We just visited the academy for the first time this past year and Rick has been a cop for 16 years. I regret not visiting it sooner. It was special to be in the place where it all started. Sure, being a police officer and police officer wife isn’t our entire identity, but it has been a huge commitment as a family. We also got to return with Rick’s best friend’s wife and their sons, who have become like family to us. Maverick, our 8-year old, looks exhausted in these photos, because he’s a runner and ran a track they had a few times when we first got there. I asked Rick if he had to run that track, and he said “no, we ran the streets.” For a while, it never occurred to me how much cops have to run. I always pictured them cozy in their police cars I guess until I started hearing stories of Rick running and jumping walls.
Going to the gym.
Rick loves working out. He does jiu-jitsu and CrossFit 6 days a week. His workouts take time away from the family and has caused resentment in the past. We moved homes further away from the gym he goes to, and I always wondered why he kept going to the same gym when there were new ones closer to our new home. Once visiting the gym Rick goes to for CrossFit, I saw the friendly vibe there as well as a huge police flag on the wall. I understood more why he went to that specific gym after going there that day.
Spending time with his friends.
I shared a post where I talked about how Rick stopped going “drinking with the guys” after we got married. From then on, we can still go out and get a drink, but I’m welcome (yes, even a police wife) to come most times. Every time we are able to hang out with his friends from work, I hear a new story from his time at work. I learn more about him as an officer and coworker. I truly cherish hearing those stories.