Parenting Children of Police Officers: Being Raised by a Police Officer
Check out my book where I discuss raising our two boys heelsandholster: a police wife devotional and a brand new children’s book for police kids, Boots by the Door.
Parenting children of police officers is unique. From my experience as a police wife of 10 years, I know that my children of police officers experience different routines than others. Here are some examples & tips for parenting children raised by a police officer and police wife:
Concealed Weapons & Being Raised by a Police Officer
I was so excited to do a trial class of a Parks and Rec music class for my 4-year old, Leonidas. He had a great time! After leaving the class, I was supposed to receive an email invite to join the class, but I never did. About two weeks after the class, I received a phone call from a woman at Parks & Rec. She said, “I feel awkward saying this, but a woman observed a firearm on your son’s father.” I said, “Yes. He’s a police officer.” She laughed in relief, but then asked me if he could not wear it to the class in the future. I explained to her that his department informs their officers that they are always on duty. She still asked if he could not wear the gun on him while in class. I politely agreed, but we never returned. We have found other fun activities for Leonidas to do where we are accepted.
My husband also carried a concealed weapon. It’s almost always on his hip. It’s almost a part of him. It’s so normal to me and our children that I don’t usually think about it.
Find communities for your children and family where you feel safe being you, get a gun safe to store weapons, & teach your children gun safety.
2. Always on Duty & Children of Police Officers
We recently parked next to a car at Target. My husband looked at the car next to ours, and then pulled out of the spot. I asked him why and he said, “the people in that car shouldn’t be here.” He observed them doing drugs. While my eyes and our children’s eyes are blind to the activity, he sees it, and we accommodate him by removing ourselves from those situations.
Our sons, Leonidas and Maverick, are young, but they will learn that their father is always on duty. Lately, they have been asking a lot of questions about their dad’s work. One day, we drove past a Mexican restaurant and Maverick wanted to go there. We drive by this restaurant everyday on the way to school. I am huge fan of Mexican food. I told him that his dad told us we couldn’t go there. Maverick asked why. I told him that he would need to ask his dad, but that his dad sees things that we don’t see.
Explain to your children what is age appropriate why they might not be able to do certain things or go certain places because of their police officer parent’s job.
3. Stability & Being a Child of a Police Officer
Rick has been in specialized units working swing and night shifts in Los Angeles for our almost 9 years of marriage. Our children are used to their father working odd hours and sleeping when we are awake. I have explained to them that “daddy has to work at night, so he sleeps during the day” several times until they understood. Rick often worked unstable days too with no regular days on and off as his department uses 30-day deployment periods. To create stability, I always assume I am 100% responsible for my boys. I am a working mom, but am able to get my hours to accommodate my boys’ needs for school pickup and drop off, extracurricular activities, etc. I am the parent who can create stability for our children. If you are not able to do this, find stability that works for your family. Maybe it’s after school care or a nanny etc.
Create stability for children of police officers through routines with one solo parent or professionals helping with care. Try out my fun family activities for solo parenting days including a free printable here.
Use a whiteboard calendar to write down the days that the police officer parent is working. Check out my Coordinating the Chaos section of my productivity blog.
4. Holidays- Being a Police Officer and a Mom
We often celebrate birthdays and holidays at different days and times than other families. That’s okay. I try to celebrate earlier than the holiday so that our children don’t feel left out when the holiday occurs, because we have already celebrated it! I have also found that planning a solo parent routine for when I’m alone with my children on holidays helps with police wife loneliness.
Celebrate holidays before the actual holiday date as a family if the police officer parent has to work on the holiday.
5. Media & Police Hate
I was explaining the Ukraine conflict to Maverick a few weeks ago. He said, “does this mean that daddy will have more people to arrest?” Leonidas also asked if we were safe. I told them, “Daddy doesn’t have to arrest anyone or deal with it at all. It’s very far away.” Since the media is filled with police hate, it’s important to talk about this with our children when they are age appropriate. I explain to my boys already that sometimes the people that their dad arrests just made bad decisions and aren’t bad people. I will someday explain to them that sometimes officers make mistakes. Their dad continues his education and trains in BJJ so he can be the best officer he can.
I truly hope this helped you with parenting as a police officer and police wife of children of police officers.
Other blogs you may like:
Fun Family Activities for Solo Parenting Days with Free Printable
How to Keep Kids Quiet with a Night Shift Spouse
Police Wife Life and Solo Parenting
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