5 Ideas on Dealing with Police Wife Loneliness
Since Rick worked night shift for the first 8 years of our marriage, I was alone for dinner and bedtime for 3-4 nights per week. It takes time to get used to, but there are also specific ways to avoid loneliness that I discuss in my police wife course and heelsandholster: a police wife devotional book. I also attended many family and friend events or holiday meals alone since Rick often works holidays and weekends. Here are some ideas to help prevent your LEOW police wife loneliness if you are experiencing it.
Anticipate your LEOW police wife loneliness.
I use a monthly family calendar where I add my husband’s work schedule and all family events. If I see that my husband is working a lot of weekends, I text my girlfriend to plan a trip to the beach or park with our children. Then, I know I won’t be alone all weekend. This really helps prevent the feelings of loneliness and gives me and my children something to look forward to. Check out my blog on planning as a cop wife. I chat more about this in my heelsandholster: a police wife devotional book.
Participate in hobbies that you enjoy.
Find those hobbies that your spouse would not really enjoy. I love chick flicks on Rick’s work nights or scrolling Instagram (come say hi!) Some ideas of hobbies including: volunteering, church, reading, workout classes, sports. Get involved in your community. I serve on the Board of a local nonprofit. I also volunteer at my children’s school. Speaking of police kids, check out my new Boots by the Door book for police kids. You will meet people this way and feel a sense of community.
You find yourself frustrated with your officer's unpredictable hours, feeling like he's "married to the job," and juggling life and parenting alone. After Sustainable Police Wife, you will wake up each day looking forward to your day, even if your spouse isn’t home, working nights, and tons of overtime. The solo parenting days go by so fast, because you’re out having crazy, fun adventures with your children. You will feel supported by a tribe who "gets you" and connected to your officer.
Leave love notes for each other.
Leave love notes for your spouse on the fridge or another place he will see them just to say hi. Most likely he will return the favor. Sometimes communicating on work days is tough, but little things like this let each other know you care.
Get a dog.
No joke. This is the number one recommendation from fellow police wives among my 8K Instagram follower community, which you should join if you have not already.
Getting a dog is literally research-based to improve quality of life. In addition, you can start taking your dog on walks, hikes, and to the dog park. You will feel more confident without your spouse, because you will have a dog with you.
I feel like I always meet our neighbors with dogs or kids! It’s an instant friend builder too.
This dog is just waiting for you to adopt it and take it on a walk.
If you’re a mom, join mom groups.
As a mom, I joined many mom groups, such as stroller strides, which had almost daily workout meetups in parks. Our kids played together afterwards. Look for similar meetups in your neighborhood. If you’re a mom, check out my blog on solo parenting too.
Embrace solitude.
Solitude is the act of being alone but not lonely. Have confidence in yourself and your marriage. Acknowledge that you are a part of the sacrifice that police families make to ensure safety of the community. Have confidence in that. Rock your solo time, girl!
Before you, go, check out my heelsandholster: a police wife devotional book with 42 stories of my police dating and wife life.
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