Thriving with an Injured Police Officer Husband
This blog is dedicated to my father-in-law who was shot on duty as a Las Vegas Metro Officer at a domestic violence call. My husband, Rick, was just 6 years old. Rick’s father survived, but it certainly affected him and his family. He shares this story in his memoir book, Why is Everything Wet.
Injury on duty has been a part of our police marriage. I realized this when I wrote my heelsandholster: a police wife devotional book. If you are in the thick of it and feeling particularly overwhelmed caring for a police husband injured on duty, check out my police wife course.
In March 2020 as the national emergency for covid was announced in the U.S., I was sitting in a hospital waiting room as Rick had lower back surgery due to an injury on duty. The surgery took longer than the doctor expected and I was filled with anxiety as I waited that last hour. Rick had lost more blood than the surgeon has expected. I share more about this story in my youtube video about Rick’s injury on duty and recovery.
Our boys were just 3 and 5 years old. It meant so much to Rick and me that Rick could lift our boys. The doctor told us to expect Rick to be able to lift and wrestle our boys after 6 weeks of recovery.
He was bedridden for about a month. His recovery took months and months longer than expected.
Rick refers to me as being a “rock” in our family during his recovery. Going through this together as a family made us stronger.
I struggled, but was able to thrive by embracing the following tips. I truly hope these tips help you if you are a police wife or dating a cop who was injured on duty.
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Injury on Duty Police Officer Wife Tip #1
Focus on basic needs
In the early days of recovery, you will be your officers’ caregiver at home. You may also have young children. You will be juggling a lot.
This time will not last forever and it is all about survival. I share practical tips and mindset shifts necessary to being a police wife in my heelsandholster: a police wife course that I know will really help you.
To feel less overwhelmed, focus on you and your family’s basic needs, such as eating, sleeping well, drinking enough water, etc.
Sleeping arrangements may need to change to accommodate your officer healing. It’s okay. Get a white noise machine if your family is noisy. Rick loves the Dohm noise machine.
Do what works best for your family during this time and know it will not be like this forever.
Injured Police Officer Husband Tip #2
Efficiency
I remember taking the clothes out of the dryer and folding them right there on the floor next to the dryer and putting them away right away. It was efficient. I often would place them on our bed and get to them later, but Rick was recovering in our bed for the first month after is surgery, so I just folded the clothes right away.
I would also order grocery pickup and take my boys with me to get the groceries super quickly. Grocery delivery is also a great option. Check out Instacart below. This helped me feel less overwhelmed.
See my blog on police wife productivity tips for more ideas on efficiency.
You find yourself frustrated with your officer's unpredictable hours, feeling like he's "married to the job," and juggling life and parenting alone. After Sustainable Police Wife, you will wake up each day looking forward to your day, even if your spouse isn’t home, working nights, and tons of overtime. The solo parenting days go by so fast, because you’re out having crazy, fun adventures with your children. You will feel supported by a tribe who "gets you" and connected to your officer.
Injury on Duty Police Officer Husband Tip #3
Ask for Help
When you are responsible and juggling all of the household responsibilities solo, it can be very stressful. Ask for help from family, friends, neighbors, etc. Don’t be afraid to hire help to clean your home, deliver groceries, mommy’s helper and/or daycare.
We have a robot vacuum that literally brings me joy when it runs, because it’s so helpful. Treat yourself to help that you need to get through this time.
Injury on Duty Police Officer Husband Tip #3
Encourage Physical Rehabilitation
When Rick was recovering, all physical therapy had closed down due to covid. Rick waited a while until he could attend physical therapy, but once he could go, we were both so happy. He also was given approval to workout on his own. He went to crossfit and started without using weights at first and then used PVC pipes for weights before lifting more and more weight as he rebuilt his strength.
He is now in better physical health than he was before his surgery. He just did his first ever BJJ competition last weekend, and it brings me so much joy to see him happy and strong. AdoptaCopBJJ offers $50 per month reimbursement for law enforcement officers jiujitsu gym membership fees.
Our officers don’t just need average physical therapy. Rick wanted to be strong enough when he returned to work to wrestle a man who was stronger and younger than him. See my blog on meal planning for police wives with diet and workout tips.
I am praying that your officer recovers soon. You are a rock. Stay strong and stable for your family during this tough time, and I strongly believe that you will come out of this stronger as a family.